You Just Don't Know It Yet
by i.l.risk
Summary: He doesn't know, but... I love him. He's the strongest person I know, and I love him. Healthy or not. Axel/Roxas, Demyx/Zexion, Sora/Kairi, Riku/Namine.
1. Prologue

**So, this is a new idea. I wanna see if it takes off with the prologue and the first few chapters. I'm doing all my work and research so it doesn't sound like I'm just spouting nonsense, PLUS experience. Thanks, love you guys. **

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The halls are quiet; the only thing you can hear is the squeaking of his oxygen cart. He takes it everywhere, but I guess he has to. He seems so cheery about it, but he walks with a cushion. No one around him, like they don't want to offend him or "get infected". He's alone. And even though he's pale, he's as bright as the sun. His hair is flat and dull, held up by product, but he's oozing life. People would think he's depressed, but he's the happiest person walking these desolate halls. And that's why I love him... He just doesn't know it yet. He doesn't have a lot of time left, so I've gotta tell the story.

-A

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**As you can see, I like prologues. I love the word, too. **


	2. The First Step

**Here we go. I'm nervous. It's kind of like... someone waiting to hear if they won an Oscar. Now, here's one of the things I need to say about this. Axel will say things by the unknown terms, like 'tubing'. It will be later that he'll start using the real terms. Also, I'll have real world terms, but still in the KH universe. This is gonna be a lead-up story, basically starting in the past-tense and ending in the present.  
**

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"Can anyone tell me what a mutation does to a person's genes?" The science teacher, Vexen, asked from behind his lab table. He was teaching us twelfth grade biology and we were on the subject of genes and DNA.

No one raised a hand, nor did we want to; it could also be that we're bored and it's the end of the day. But, the mutation fact scared some of us into the thought of **not** procreating. Some of us just thought of X-Men. But we also didn't want to sound like assholes to the only person in school suffering from one if we said something wrong. But he raised his hand, just like everyone thought he would.

"A mutation is exactly what it's called. In development, something goes wrong in the planning for growth. Broken DNA. There are some beneficial mutations, but some bad. When it's a bad mutation, it leads to problems with the immune system, cancer, or... Other diseases."

Vexen nodded at the small boy. "Very good, Roxas." He uncapped a dry-erase marker and began to write on his whiteboard.

Roxas smiled at the compliment, the tubing in his nose shifted. But he could tell we were staring at him and went back to his textbook.

"Okay, class, I'm assigning reports. I want each of you to do a report on one disease caused by genetic mutations. Partnership is optional, and I want your papers by the first of the month," Vexen told us. He got some groans from students, but nothing too terrible. Demyx tapped my shoulder from his desk behind me.

"You're flying solo on this one. Zexion and I are doing a report together."

"Dammit, Demyx." I turned in my chair to look at him better. "I can't do this on my own."

"Oh, Axel, it's as easy as getting on the Internet." He pushed his hair back up to almost a faux hawk.

"But my schedule!"

"Axel, you really don't have one. You play football. You date. You're like... the most popular guy here. You also have a month to write it," he huffed. He then turned his head and waved at Zexion as Vexen handed out planning pages. One even had all the acceptable diseases and syndromes.

"What's PKU?" I asked, scanning the paper.

Demyx traced his finger across the acronym and pronounced, "_Phenylketonuria._ I'm choosing that for Zexion and I... If I can learn to say it right."

"Use all your time wisely," Vexen said when the bell rang. We stood, shouldered our bags, and shuffled out. But Roxas stayed to pack up his tank.

As if I was automatic I walked up to him and asked, "Need any help?"

He looked at me like I was Wreck-It Ralph. Like no one had ever offered help. "Uhm, thanks." His voice was quiet, dry.

I thought maybe I could weasel my way in. "So, do you have a partner for the project?"

He started filling his bag with his Biology supplies. "No. Do you want... To be my partner?"

"Sure. I'm Axel," I held my hand out, "got it memorized?"

He cracked a smile and shook my hand. "Roxas. When do you want to meet, Axel?"

I had to remember when I had practice and games. "How about this weekend? Saturday at one sound fine?" Today was Thursday.

"Can we make it two? I've got a checkup at one." He patted his tank, now resting in a makeshift backpack decorated with patches and colorful stitching. His name was even stitched in with a light blue string. I held it up and he put his arms through. "Thanks. But I've gotta get going. See you tomorrow?"

"Maybe."

He took a slow stride outside the door and left me with Vexen. "Get out! Go home!"

I didn't go home. I had my first practice of the year. I was the star this year. Finally, as a senior, I'm the Varsity quarterback. I was backup last year, but Lexaeus noticed my growth. He also bumped up Leon, Riku, a boy named Saix, and our star kicker, a boy named Terra. We were pretty good on last year's team, but we had to make this year our own.

"Okay, Twilight Town Tailbunkers. We've got a clean slate this year. And what are we gonna fix from last year?" Lexaeus cupped his hand to his ear.

"We'll beat the Destiny Island Dustfliers!" All of us yelled back.

"They beat us last year by two touchdowns! We can't let them happen this year! Go out and run your tires."

And this started the mundane tasks accompanied with football. First we run through tires like we're in the army, then we work with the dummies, then each other. After an hour, we broke. I glanced up at the stands. They were usually empty during practices, but there were two people just sitting there, watching us run.

"Who're they? I can't tell," I said, squinting.

Riku answered. "Oh, didn't know they would be here."

"Okay, that doesn't answer my question. Who're they?"

"My best friends, Sora and Roxas. I invited them to my first practice."

"Oh." I looked closer and noticed the boy I'd met earlier. He looked brighter in the sunlight.

"Come on, I'll introduce you." Riku grabbed my hand and began to pull me to the fence. We stood on the track and they started down. Sora carried Roxas's bag as the boy carried his tank.

Sora and Roxas could be related. It's crazy. They look the same, except Roxas is blond and Sora is a brunet. And Roxas is paler.

"Axel, I'd like you to meet my best friends, Sora and Roxas. They're brothers, twins in fact."

"Thanks, Riku, but Axel and I have met," Roxas said. He breathed heavily, and even though it was heavy, it seemed like he couldn't get enough.

"I haven't met him, though." Sora turned to me. He looked at my outstretched hand for a second before shaking it. "Roxas tells me you'll be by this weekend to work on a project."

"Yeah."

"Better not let him do all the work. I'll kick your ass." Sora was standing on his toes, trying to be intimidating, but I still looked down on his. His lips were pursed into a fine line.

Roxas tugged on Sora's sleeve. "Please don't, Sora. You know I don't like when you swear. And he won't make me do all the work." He sounded like a child; it was sweet.

"Calm down, calm down." Riku waved an imaginary white flag. "Since practice is over, anyone wanna get something to eat?"

I shook my head. "Can't. Gotta get home and work on calculus. Damn that difficult math." Roxas frowned at my use of 'damn'. "Oh, sorry."

"Well, I guess I'll take you two home," Riku said, his words directed to the twins. He helped Roxas down and took the bag from Sora. "See ya tomorrow, Axel."

Sora made an "I'm watching you" gesture with his index and middle fingers.

Roxas smiled an said, "Bye, Axel."

I threw a football around for about fifteen minutes after they left. I didn't wanna work on calculus, who would? I wanted to go with them. Maybe spend some time with Roxas, get to know him. Maybe I'd be told why he carries his tank around and has tubes in his nose. I'm not gonna lie when I say he looks cute. I'd even say that if my life was a Sims game, he'd be labeled as my romantic interest.

That was the day I realized, Roxas, that I could open my heart to you.

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**Thanks so much! I'll keep you updated! **


	3. Temperamental

**Thanks for the encouragement. Here's the next installment. Doing my research, hoping to write stuff in my Mario notebook; maybe I'll do it at school.**

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"Axel, how was practice today?" My dad asked from the end of the dining room table. His eyes were piercing as he chewed his food.

I poked at a morsel and pondered. "It was okay. We did tires today."

"Good. Tires is a great way to start," he said and started cutting a steak. He may say 'good' and encouraging words of that nature, but my dad was as heartless as well... a Heartless. He didn't smile, or hug. He rarely kissed my mom.

You see, Dad's in charge of the R and D team at this software company. He graduated from an almost Ivy League school. He worked his way up the ladder and is on his way to becoming Chief Financial Officer at this place. He's got a specific plan for me, just like Mike Chang's dad in Glee. I'm going to finish high school as a recipient of the Scholar - Athlete Award. I'm going to be accepted into a major school where I'll play football for four years. With my grades, _significantly_ improved from high school, I'm going to work _my _way up the corporate ladder of any business I choose. Yeah, screw that.

"How's school so far?" My mom asked from the other end of the table. She makes it seem like she doesn't see me at all when Dad's pride has made her into a housewife.

"Good, Mom."

"How's Larxene doing?" This is from Dad. I've told them I'm still seeing a girl I broke up with almost two years ago now. They just couldn't handle that I like... boys; well, I'd say both (girls are still sexy). But I do. Proud about it, too.

"Uhm, she's fine." I had to come up with a story. "She's out of town still. Her vacation was extended."

"I hope everything's okay," Mom said.

And I hope this weekend can come sooner.

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"Hey, Axel!" Demyx waved me over in the hall.

"Sorry," I said to one of the cheerleaders I knew. Her name's Kairi.

"It's fine," she laughed. "Go on."

I walked across to where Demyx stood. He was with Zexion at his locker. They were holding hands, which was a big step for the both of them. They didn't exactly want to be labeled as the only gay couple in the school. I'm happy for them.

"You get a partner for Bio?" Demyx asked.

"Yeah. Uh, yeah, I did." I kicked at my shoes.

"So, who is it?" Zexion laughed. "I mean, I'm sorry I took Demyx away from you, but," he wrapped their arms together and purred, "he's mine now, Axel."

"I see this. But you won't have him forever," I purred back, taking Demyx's other arms. His cheeks flushed and he smiled like a schoolgirl.

"Two things. One, stop fighting over me, it makes me feel too good. Two, Axel's avoiding the question. Tell us."

"My partner's Roxas. It's really no big deal."

"I guess it really isn't a big deal," Zexion said. His visible eye twinkled.

"Well, the big deal is he's cute. Except for all the medical junk he has. I think he'd be ten times cuter without those tubes. Or maybe if he didn't look like a bottle of glue." Demyx scrunched his lips up, like Samantha of Bewitched.

"Demyx, what the hell are you saying? Stop being such a dick," I said. I didn't know what I was saying, but I felt I needed to protect the boy. "There's nothing wrong with him."

Demyx raised his hands in surrender. "Sorry, Axel. I don't know why I said it. I'm sorry."

"Come on. We've gotta get to English." Zexion turned on his heel and led the way. Demyx followed with a pep in his step and I just stood back and thought. Roxas is already creeping into my thoughts and I don't even know him that well! But there he was, in my head, and now he was even in front of me with Riku and Sora. Kairi was with them and a blonde girl I'd never spoken to.

"You guys read Hamlet last night?" I'd heard Sora say.

"God, Sora. Just sit down and read the book," Kairi said.

"But I was busy."

"Doing what?" She put her hands on his hips and smiled.

"I was googling football strategies. I wanna play on the school's team," he mumbled, but it was loud enough I could hear.

"Sora, if you were a football player, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off of you." Kairi kissed his cheek and his face went through four shades of red before stopping at my hair color.

"If Sora played football, I'd come to more games," Roxas said. He sounded louder today.

With his arms crossed, Riku huffed. "And what's stopping you from coming to see me?" He playfully punched the boy's shoulder.

"Okay, I'll amend my statement. If Sora played, I'd be _forced _to go to more."

The bell rang and I was shaken out of being a creep. Students started making their way to class and the group I was watching said their goodbyes. Roxas opened the door to his locker and started collecting books from the top shelf; he had to stand on his toes to make sure he had everything. And again, I offered help.

"Can I carry those for you?"

"Oh, hi, Axel." He looked down at his stack. "Sure. Thank you." I took the books from him and helped him into his bag. Hamlet was at the top of the pile.

"You're going to English?"

"Yeah. Same as you," he replied.

"I haven't seen you."

"Been there all week. Well, almost. I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday. I sit in the front, closer to the door." He took a breath. I felt like a dick.

"Oh. Sorry I haven't noticed you."

"Axel, you didn't do anything. We don't talk much. I'm happy we are, though." His smile warmed me.

"So, we're friends?"

"Yeah. Why not? I like you, Axel." Even though he didn't say it in the context I wanted, it felt amazing to hear. He sat down in his chair by the door and I gave him his books. He smiled at me as I walked to my seat in the back, next to Zexion. I watched him in awe. I was on a high from what he said.

"Axel, will you please tell me what this quote means? '_This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.'" _Luxord, the English teacher, asked.

In a daze, I answered, "Lovely."

"What, Axel?"

Zexion shook me and everyone looked to me. Roxas laughed behind his hand. Luxord leaned forward for my reply. "I'm sorry. I was distracted. It means that it really doesn't matter what other people say about you, you just need to know who you are."

"Good answer, even with that... mistake." The corner of Luxord's mouth tilted up in a smile. Everyone else held theirs, even Roxas. His was cute. God, I sound like a creep. I should have a checklist, though. A list of everything I know about him, things I wanna know, and maybe points in the relationship.

"What's up with you?" Zexion asked. I had a feeling he was referencing the event of scolding Demyx, and now answering with something completely off the wall.

"Uhm. I think I have a headache." I rubbed my forehead in an attempt to garner sympathy.

"Maybe you should go get something for it," he suggested.

"Maybe. I think I'll go next period. Just if it gets worse." I hated lying to people, but not even Demyx or Zexion know my secret. I should tell them at some point. It's not like I'm harboring a deep, dark secret. I just want boys in my bed. Oh, god, that sounds so wrong.

The next class rolled around and I got excused to take some pills for my head. It was a little relief because I didn't do my calculus like I was supposed to.

"Sit down on the bench," an office secretary told me. She went into a small room with cabinets hung from every wall.

As she dug around looking for a bottle with my name on it, the door clicked open and she threw a "Good morning," from her place.

"Axel, how many times are we gonna see each other today? Just wondering." Roxas smiled as he sat next to me. He pulled the tank between his knees and started drumming on the top. He wore a faded hospital bracelet on his left wrist. He noticed me focusing on it. "You're wondering why I'm wearing this, aren't you?"

"A little." I shrugged.

"I go so often that I really don't care if it's on or off. It's kinda part of me. So, what are you waiting for?"

I tapped my temple. "Bit of a headache."

"Lucky," he sighed. "I'm in here every day at this time for antibiotics. Oh well. I hope your head feels better soon."

What do I say? I hope your terminal illness doesn't hurt so bad today? The secretary handed me a plastic cup with two white pills in the bottom and went to fetch Roxas's medicine. She pointed at a water cooler.

"When you're finished go back to class," she instructed.

The water was cool, a little too purified for my taste. Roxas looked up at me with thoughtful eyes. He patted the bench for me to sit again.

"Sorry," it hurt to say, "I've gotta get back to calculus. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah."

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**I feel Axel is lovestruck. But he just hasn't accepted it yet.  
**


	4. A House on the Lake

**Here' the next one! I don't write texts shorthand, so I didn't know what people abbreviate. Please don't laugh at them! . **

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When morning light decided to show its ugly face, the fact dawned on me. I'm seeing Roxas. Out of school. And I didn't even know where he lived! I felt the blanket around me, looking for my phone; I hoped to wake Riku up with a call or text.

-hai

-hey

-do u kno how I can get 2 roxas?

-yea. U need address?

-yea. project

He sent the address and a phone number, just in case. I scanned it for a second and let out a heavy sigh. I looked around and noticed everything I hadn't before. Trophies, certificates, and I realized that I'm boring as hell.

"Axel? You awake?" Mom was leaving for the day.

"Yeah," I called. I didn't exactly want to _be _up.

"Axel, let's get moving!" My dad was a morning drill sergeants. He pounded the door with his fist on most Saturdays that I wasn't up before ten. Honestly, I stayed awake watching Romeo and Juliet from the sixties on Netflix.

After a quick shower, that lasted forty minutes, I was almost ready. What do I do? How do you get ready for a non-date study date? Do I dress casually like I would for school, or do I wear dress clothes? How about my best pair of jeans and a decent tee. How much cologne do I spray? I don't want to kill him.

"Axel! Hurry up!" Dad was downstairs. He was probably pouring his third cup of black coffee.

"Coming!" I threw a plain red tee shirt on and covered it with a white dress shirt. I slid my jeans on and shouldered a messenger bag filled with supplies and my laptop.

"Axel, dear," Mom started," there are waffles in the freezer. Sorry I couldn't make any this morning." She smiled and showed off bright eyes.

"Uhm, not in the mood. Got somewhere to be," I replied and walked out with a flip-flopping stomach.

Dad was in the garage. He clapped my shoulder when I entered and started for my car.

"Got it looking good, Axel." He noticed the car didn't look terrible anymore.

"I'm getting help from guys on the team."

"You don't need _help,_" he roared in laughter.

No, I couldn't. "You're right, Dad. I was doing most of the work anyways." Lie. But I guess I'd just have to Google car detailing. I faked a smile and his sipped coffee from a travel mug.

"Well, I'll see you later, son." He slid into the front seat of his car and started it up. He rolled the window down and asked, "Where are you going?"

I kicked my shoes together. "I'm going to my project partner's house. We'll be working on Biology for a few hours."

Dad nodded and drove off, leaving me in a faint cloud of muffler smoke.

I'd never been to where Roxas lived. He lived in a small neighborhood by a lake. The morning brought the sun over the water; it shimmered so brightly that I needed to cover my eyes. Riku's instructions didn't help me much, so the address went into my smart phone. His house was at the end of a dirt lane. From the driveway, you could see into the fenced in yard; you could see a dock that stretched out into the lake.

I checked myself over in my rearview mirror, door mirror, and even my phone. My hair fell perfectly. My own eyes haunted me with their luminescence. I even opened my mouth and inspected my teeth. I was ready for my not-date.

The house had a kind of entryway. The floor creaked under my feet and I looked around. There were shelves with random baubles and shoes on the floor. I knocked on the door and felt weird.

"Door!" Someone yelled from inside. _Oh my god,_ I thought, _I'm going to be eaten alive._

"Get it, dummy." The second voice was barely a whisper; it was a surprise that I could even hear it through the door. "Fine. I'll do it.

The door opened and my heart almost leapt. He was dressed in sleep pants and a baggy shirt. He was adorable in that outfit. His hair was unkempt, as usual, but now, I was unsure if it was bedhead or styled that way. I made a mental note on his tubes; they were always in. He looked tired.

"Hey. You're here early," he wheezed, leaning against the door frame.

"Uhm, I'm sorry."

"For?"

"Being here so early."

He shot me a look. "Okay. Stupid reason. Come in, we're making breakfast." He turned with his cart in hand. "Oh, take your shoes off."

His home was neat, orderly. I remembered, from a daze, that Sora lived here. He was sitting in a wheeled chair at a desktop computer. He was in a pair of athletic shorts; I almost laughed at his chest, but remembered that Roxas would look the same.

"Axel's joining us for breakfast," Roxas stated.

"Better not eat my Pop Tarts," Sora mumbled.

I held my hands up in surrender. "I won't."

"Axel," Roxas began, gripping my forearms and pushing me into a chair near Sora, "sit."

Roxas tended to eggs in a frying pan. Sora turned back to his computer and began clicking away. I didn't want to just sit there and be a wall ornament. I felt that I needed to do something, talk or help.

"Roxas, can I help you?" I asked in a small voice.

"No, Axel. Talk to Sora." He didn't even turn to face me.

So, I moved toward Sora. He didn't look at me but for a second. He made it seem like I was gonna be hit.

"What are you doing?"

"Working on _Hamlet_. Roxas won't help me with it." He scratched his head and stared at an online help site.

"I could help you if you wanted it," I offered.

"If I can't understand this crap, then I'll take you up on that."

"No more homework talk. Breakfast is ready." Roxas placed three plates on the kitchen table and sat down. Sora stood and retrieved a carton of orange juice from the refrigerator with three glasses. He actually poured it for us.

"Thank you for joining us, Axel," Roxas said. He pushed a plate to me and started cutting his own food.

"Roxas," Sora said with a tone. He narrowed his eyes and tilted his gaze down.

"Oh, yeah. I'll be back." He left, pulling his cart behind him.

"Where's he going?" I asked.

Sora, with his face inches from his plate, gnawed at his egg. He reminded me of a caveman. "He's got to get his pills."

Pills?

"I'm back, boys. Sora, eat normally. Please? We have a guest." Roxas had one of those orange pill bottles. He counted out three and replaced the cap, taking a swig of juice. "Axel, eat up."

After breakfast, Roxas led me out to the dock; the sun wasn't as bad as before. Roxas rolled the legs of his pants up and sat with his feet in the water, his cart laying next to him.

"So. What do you think we should write about?" I asked, sitting down.

He started kicking and motioned for me to join. After removing everything I needed and rolling my jeans up as far as I could, the water met my feet with a cool sting. He laughed when I whimpered.

"I was thinking about it, actually," Roxas mentioned.

"What'd you come up with?"

"Me," he stated. He kicked his feet more and started kicking at mine.

"What do you mean?"

"Axel, don't play dumb," he laughed, "it isn't cute on most people. I mean we do a report of CF."

He watched me as I tried to remember if I'd even heard of CF.

"Cystic fibrosis, Axel. My lungs fill up with mucus. I can't breathe on my own." He patted the tank.

"You'd be okay with that?"

"Yeah." He turned and smiled. I felt like I should hug him, but that could be weird. He started kicking water up and splashing. "Come on, let's go to work."

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**What do you think? Please be honest, I can take it. Review and share. Share with all your Akuroku-lovin' friends. **


	5. Learning About Him

**Well, has anyone missed me? God, I'm so sorry for almost three months of nothing. I'd been blocked on writing this one. So much to prepare for. BUT GUESS WHAT! I'd heard that I was linked to on Tumblr! So, that's a big thanks. Well, here's the next chapter. **

* * *

Sora hadn't moved since we'd been outside. His breakfast plate was still on the table. He at least wore a shirt Roxas had given him.

"Where were you two?"

"The dock."

"Making out?"

My outburst surprised us all. "No!"

"Calm down, dude," Sora laughed, his body shaking merrily.

"We're gonna go work on our project. Tell me if Mom calls, I need her to pick up some stuff."

Roxas shook his head and picked up a laptop off of the table and leaned against the wall, catching his breath. He gasped twice. Sora turned his chair and did the same eye thing he did when Roxas had pills to take. Roxas trudged in and followed. Sora sat on one cushion of the couch and Roxas beside him.

"Please make it quick. I hate this; plus it's embarrassing." Roxas glanced at me, but turned and faced the wall.

"Oh, stop it. You didn't think it worked when Mom did it. You said it hurt when Dad did it."

What were they doing?

"Ready?" Sora rubbed his hands together.

Roxas nodded and Sora began to pound the space of his back between his shoulder blades. It reminded me of a massage, but I doubt it. Sora moved around his spine – I'm pretty sure I heard pops – and just kept going.

"Axel," Roxas' voice made him sound like he was vibrating, "this helps to break up the mucus in my lungs. I need more than the tank to breathe. We can add this to the report."

Sora's 'therapy' lasted for a few minutes longer. When finished, Roxas rolled his shoulders back and moaned. He stood, stretched, and grabbed my hand to lead me to his room. He was cold, and I know it's definitely not manly of me to say, but it reminded me of when Bella brushed Edward for the first time and felt how cold _he_ was.

"We'll go grab your bag and go to my room," he instructed.

Roxas' room was plain. Pale blue walls. One large window reminding me of a hospital room. He had a computer on a wooden desk in the corner. A closet that was barely used; it gave a home to a dusted over machine; it had one of those oxygen masks hanging from it. A small bed against the wall. But what caught my attention the most was the shelf over his bed. It was filled. Filled with prescription bottles. Without getting inches from the wall itself, I could see that they were old and new. The new ones just being higher doses than the old.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing at the closet.

From his bed, Roxas answered, "My ventilator. I used to need it at night."

"Any why don't you anymore?"

"Once it got too bad, my tank became my air supply. That was, oh, three years ago?"

I wrote that down. "And the pills? Why so many bottles?" I already knew that answer.

"I just haven't gotten to throwing them away. Like that inhaler," he pointed, "that was used every day, but I don't need it anymore."

He was so strong. He was just sitting there, but he oozed happiness and strength. Just strong-willed and I envied him. He looked at me while I stood, making notes.

"Axel, you can sit." He patted the bed. I sat in his desk chair. He glared.

"What do you like to do, Roxas?"

He sat up taller, licked his lips, and he shook his head. "I'd say I like to play sports. Baseball's my favorite. I wanted to play growing up, but my body just wouldn't handle it. I watch it with my dad. The only thing I can really handle is ping-pong or bowling. And you, Axel?"

I'd _like_ to be with him. "Well, I like to play football."

He laughed. "Axel, come on. Give me a real answer. What do you really like to do?"

"I really don't know what I like to do. I'm mostly pushed into things. I'd love to learn to play music. I'd love to learn how to do a lot of things."

"I like to paint. Even if it does look like it was done by a cat. Just something you like. Don't you have anything like that?"

I shook my head.

He frowned. "You're boring, Axel."

"Sorry."

"You apologize too much."

There was silence between us. He flashed a sparkling smile and threw a light punch in the air.

"Anything else you think we need to know?" My voice showed signs of trembling.

"I've been to the hospital twenty-seven times. Twenty-eight if you count me being born. Three fourths of those were check-ups. The rest were all emergency rooms. Most were all because my lungs were filled and I couldn't breathe. Nurses keep trying to predict when I'll go, but I just... stay alive. Mom thinks it's will." He cleared his throat. "We could put something like that in it."

"Can you get a transplant?"

"I'm like... one fifty-six on a list. And you really can't get just one. You've gotta get a set. With one, the remaining lung could infect the new one, then you're screwed... _again_."

"Is there a life expectancy...?"

"I've been told that I could live to be thirty. Big year."

Long enough to get married. I've gotta stop thinking this way...

I kept making notes and he'd nod. He told me that he used to get headaches. He'd get sick at school and at home. His medicines couldn't cure him, but they didn't make the mucus almost bearable, in his terms. He'd wear his mask at night, he called it a BIPAP. He had his tank at age fourteen. He told me that he'd cough up blood at school, and run out of whatever classroom he was in. What surprised me was that he didn't seem ashamed, or didn't even stop talking. I couldn't get him to stop.

"Roxas, don't you think we could take a break?" I asked. "Or maybe move these notes into my computer?"

"Oh. Yeah. I'm gonna get a drink and see how Sora's doing."

He left and closed the door. I couldn't stop thinking about him. And it wasn't because I was at his house, or working with him, and not even his... disease. I was drawn to him. I'm not afraid to tell myself that he's cute, and that there may be something that I feel. I just can't tell him.

"Hey, I got you some water." The door opened after he struggled to twist the doorknob. I jumped out of my chair and took two cups from him. He gave me a bendy straw. From the look I gave him, he smiled. "I like to make things fun." He sat back down on the bed. "Join me."

"Uhm, okay." I felt nervous. I crawled up next to him. His bed was soft and his pillows were fluffed. I notice the stupidest things. There was a space of six inches between us. It felt weird to be here.

"Axel, what do you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I know you play football. Is there anything else?"

I started thinking, and the words just started coming with the more I'd thought.. In elementary school, I was pushed into a young student council. I'd wanted to play a Munchkin in the school's production of The Wizard of Oz. I guess I'd want to be a troublemaker on stage, I just didn't wanna be in the spotlight. In junior high, I was put into a junior honor society... and back into student council; I'd been president three times, but Roxas wasn't in our school. I'd tried to lay low in high school, but I did finish the student council in the beginning of tenth grade.

Then I started football. His eyes were wide in listening. I'd only heard that damn sound twice while talking. The one where you're trying to get the last drops from your cup. He yawned as there was a knock on the door. A dark-haired woman poked her head in.

"You must be Roxas' friend." She smiled warmly at us, but I just felt heat rising in my face thinking that I'd been caught close to Roxas.

"Yeah. I'm Axel. We're working together on Biology."

"Well, I'm Tifa. And my baby knows what time it is."

Roxas turned his head and glanced at his desk clock. I guess there was something about half past noon.

"Uhm... I'm gonna take a nap," he stammered. I looked at my notepad to find just a few bullets of information. "Give me your phone and I'll call you later?" I flipped my phone to him as Tifa counted out a couple pills I hadn't seen him take. She left us after laying them out on his table.

"Hope you sleep well," I noted, packing my notepad into my bag and retrieving my phone. He swallowed his pills with the very last of his water.

"I'll try. Be sure to call me," he yawned. "I wanna talk to you." He smiled up at me.

I smiled at him and said, "Sleep tight," before exiting his room. I breathed deeply and flushed with my back against his door.

* * *

**Uhm, how'd you like it? I'm open for whatever you guys have to say, good or bad. That's what I'm here for, right? But you know, I'd be open to have some beta readers if interested. Think it over. But review and share? Oh, don't forget to check out my page. I'd love for you guys to read my other stuff. Another note, I'm thinking of doing some drawings, maybe to just entertain you guys. Thanks!  
**


	6. No Answer? Better Hang Up

**I thought you guys would like another chapter. Tried to get another one done for you guys... I love having an iPad to do writings on when I don't want my computer. Well, here you are.**

* * *

I didn't get a call the night before. I got a text from Sora on Roxas' phone. He told me that Roxas wasn't feeling the greatest. They'd let him sleep for the rest of the day. I didn't want to feel upset because he needed it.

I don't want it to be Sunday. Sunday means a family day, and family days mean church, and lunch with my aunt and her family. I'd get to hang out with Reno, though. He's my cousin, but it looks like we came from the exact same genes.

"Axel, get your church clothes on," Mom chided from the other side of my door. If I attended church in a pair of flaming boxers, would I be kicked out?

"Okay," I groaned. At least this Sunday would be different. I'd probably be texting Roxas the entire time.

I slipped on a blue dress shirt and pulled on my pants, one leg at a time. I felt almost like I was already forty years old and belonged in a cubicle. Where's my stapler? I'm just happy I don't have to wear a tie anymore like when I was under the age of ten. I'd liked church back then. I'm just not sure anymore.

* * *

The reverend or pastor, or whatever the hell he's called droned on and on. He reminded me of Lovejoy on The Simpsons. I'd gotten comfortable in my corner of the pew. My mom was irritated, but she never broke a smile.

-hey buddy

Roxas sent a message back a few minutes later. Mom snapped her head to me when she heard the buzzing.

-hey :)

-what's goin on?

-in the middle of that thing sora did yesterday

-:(

-it makes me feel better, axel

-does it hurt?

-aggressive massage

-lol

-and you?

-church.

-ew.

-what?

-I'm not sure about god anymore

-why?

-axel, I'm one of those people whose prayers never got answered

And the door to religion has been forcefully slammed shut. I felt that I should put my phone away, but I sent one more, to make or break it.

-I'm sorry.

-thank you, axel. not many people get it.

I tried to think of him. Holding his phone and sitting somewhere where he could be frustrated at my question. Was he crying just thinking about how no matter how many times he'd asked, nothing got better? Or is he stronger than that? He deserves more credit than that.

* * *

Lunch with my family... It's hectic. We go to a McDonald's of all places. There are four kids on my aunt's side. I only care about talking to Reno. The other three can have at it with each other. My parents sit with my aunt and uncle after ordering. The younger kids sit with each other at an adjacent table and start making a racket. Reno and I sit at one of two-person tables near the front of the store.

Reno and I are almost reflections of each other. He sits across from me and dips a fry into the stupid paper cup of ketchup. He slouches in his chair and asks, "What's new, cousin?"

"Well, you remember what I told you a couple months ago?"

He stares at me. "Axel, you tell me a LOT of shit. What am I supposed to remember?"

"Reno, you're so goddamn dense. What should you remember?"

He tapped his chin and looked at the ceiling. He almost missed his mouth with a few fries. "Ohhhh. I remember. You think you're gay, right?"

I shushed him. "Not completely, dammit. Quiet down. I don't want anyone to know about it."

"Okay. It doesn't matter what you are, Axel. You're still my best cousin. Why'd you bring it up?" He took a bite of his burger.

"I think I like a guy."

He raised his eyebrow. "Like a boyfriend? That's good, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so. But... I don't know. People may see it as preying on the weak."

"The weak, Axel?"

"He's got cystic fibrosis. He's terminal, Reno." I couldn't believe I was saying these words.

"Axel, go for it. You have feelings for him, right?"

I blushed. "But I don't know about him, Reno," I groaned through burger.

"God, Axel. You've been literally pushed into things since we were kids. How about you actually do something you want to do? Do what you want to." Reno finished his burger and slurped cola.

He was right, but I was scared. Scared of my parents. Scared of not knowing how to treat Roxas. Scared of Sora. I really did like him.

"What have you boys been talking about?" Mom asked. She'd collected the garbage from her table and was passing us.

"Nothing much, just catching up," Reno told her.

* * *

It was almost four in the afternoon by the time we got home. I kicked off my dress shoes and stretched my toes. I shed my pants and unbuttoned my shirt. My phone vibrated on my bed.

-axel

-roxas

-I asked my mom. Wanna come over? We'd hang out tho.

-no work?

-nah. come see meeeee

I smiled at my phone and dug out a tee shirt from my dresser. I pulled some jeans on and collected my keys.

* * *

**I'm not sure how many more text conversations I wanna write. I don't use the lingo. I don't know how it's used. How was it? If it feels slow, it is. But we haven't gotten to any big stuff yet. Review and share? I love waking up to those emails. :) Check out some of the other stuff on my page, pleeeeease? There are a couple AkuRoku one shots that haven't gotten much love. :(**


	7. You Remind Me of a Movie

**Here is my third chapter in three (almost four [12:56 a.m. right now]) days. I think I'm going to take a short break and plan out ideas. I wrote this in several different places today. It would've been up earlier, but I got distracted watching Epic Rap Battles of History... -_- ENJOY!**

* * *

He was waiting for me. I wasn't expecting it, but he was. I thought it was a sweet gesture. I stopped my car on the side of the drive and he came to the window.

"Nice car, Axel."

"Uhm, thanks. I guess it is. It gets me places."

"Axel, that's an answer people give when they don't want to show off. I'm fine with it, you know." Roxas shook his head at me and laughed. I turned the key and the car went silent. "Turn it back on." He opened the door and sat himself on the passenger side. It confused me, but I went with it.

"Where to?" I asked.

"We could go to... That diner by the school."

On the way there, I'd had memories of watching Silver Linings Playbook. Was this a date like Pat and Tiffany? I'd like it, but I wouldn't order cereal. This was all spontaneous.

I looked at him, pushed back in his seat, and smiled; he just couldn't see me. "Is there a reason as to why you wanna go... Out?"

"Everything is so planned at home. 'Take your pills now', 'It's time for your ventilator', 'Let Sora work your back'. It's not that I don't do that, I just want a little fun. Axel, I'm supposed to live to be thirty. I'm seventeen. That's thirteen more years. I told you I've been to the hospital twenty-seven times. I'm not sure how much I believe that estimate anymore."

I felt the air in the car go tense. I didn't know what to say, if I could say anything. So, again, I try. "I'm sorry it's so rough on you."

He looked at me with heartfelt eyes. "Thank you, Axel." He leaned over and rested on my arm. Even with all of the movements from using the steering wheel. I didn't know how to react, so I kept my eyes on the road and hands up.

"I heard Riku works here. I guess it was just recently, too," I noted.

The place was empty at this time. There were only two other cars in the lot. I'd opened Roxas' door and offered to carry his tank. I'd noticed a subtle blush. I'd opened the front door and he led me in, to be sure that he didn't get too far with me holding the tank. There was a stereotypical hostess. She was young, hair in a pony-tail, and chewing gum, holding up a killer smile.

"How many?" Are you blind?

"Two," Roxas answered.

"Right this way," she said. She walked us to a small table and handed us each a menu. "Your server will be here soon."

I played with the sugar dispenser. I poured some of the white substance onto the spoon and ate it, scrunching my face with the kick of sweet. I have a sweet tooth, kill me.

"What are you doing?"

"I know, it's weird. Roxas, what are we doing here? I had something to eat like, two hours ago."

"I wasn't planning on a meal. I want a snack," he laughed.

"Couldn't we have done that at your house?"

"And be bothered by Sora and my parents?"

He wanted an intimate setting... "I get it."

Roxas had gone to the hostess and asked for crayons before our order was taken. He'd drawn a blue cat. It was cartoony, but cute. He stopped when Riku came to us in a white dress shirt, fancy pants, and one of those short aprons with a server's book tucked into the pouch.

"Hey, guys. How's your Sunday?"

"It's pretty good," Roxas answered. He opened his menu for the first time since coming. "Can I get a bowl of vanilla ice cream? With two spoons." He tilted his head and gave me a look.

"Sure, I guess." Riku raised his eyebrow, scribbling on his pad. "And, Axel?"

My mind went blank when I was asked. So the best thing to do... "I'll have water."

"Okay. You two are weird. But, I'll be back in a second."

"Are we really doing this, Axel?"

I looked down at the table. "I don't know what you mean."

"Axel, I haven't been living under a rock. I do read and watch movies." He smirked. "I guess this makes you Tiffany."

"Wait... there was a book? I thought it was just the movie."

His mouth dropped open and his eyes bugged out. "Seriously? Silver Linings Playbook written by _Matthew Quick_. The director of the movie changed a lot; I'm not happy with all the changes, but I still liked it. I can't believe you only saw it," he scoffed with mock disgust.

"I might just read it some time." I took his crayons and drew a red cat next to his blue one. "So, do you read a lot?"

He shrugged. "I guess. Mostly library books. I like romances and fantasies, and realistic stuff."

"Realistic stuff? You mean, like, nonfiction?"

"No. Uhm, the stuff that can actually happen, but not real? Like The Fault in our Stars? Or... The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo? Real situations, just made up. Do you read?"

He is so smart... I'm basically fake smart; book-smart, but not cultured. I do what I can to play football and make my dad happy.

"I'm not going to lie. I'm more of a movie person, Roxas," I admitted.

"Well, boys. Here's your freaky deaky order," Riku announced. He handed Roxas his bowl and gave him the spoons he asked for. My water was in a tall cup and he gave me a straw just in case. "Anything else?"

"Could I get another?" I held the straw up.

Riku cracked a smile and nodded before he left us. Roxas held a spoon out to me. "If you don't eat, I won't." I reluctantly took the spoon and scooped some of the frozen treat. It was too cold for my liking. He chuckled warmly at my grimace. Well, it was like the damn movie.

"Axel, if I ever reenacted a scene from a movie, you'd be my first pick to do it with." He's going to kill me. He adjusted his tubes and checked his tank.

"Guys, I've got your check. And, Axel, here's your straw. You guys better tip me well, dammit." Riku cocked his head and smiled with crazy teeth as he ripped a slip of paper. "If only all customers were like you guys." He tucked his book into his pouch and retreated to the kitchen.

"You want some?" I held the straw to Roxas who shook his head. I looked at the spoon in his hand; he was just holding it.

"Axel, I ordered something for you. I just don't want to run the risk of spreading germs. Yeah, I've heard of studies and scientists talking about it, but I just don't want to take any chances. I'm sorry. Thank you for the thought." His hand stretched across the table and he placed it on mine. He was still cold.

"How about a trade?" I slid the water to him.

Roxas wanted to be out longer after we'd finished at the diner. The time was edging closer to five something and he just didn't want to go home. I took this as a good sign. But he wanted to watch stars. I wasn't going to keep him that late, I couldn't.

I helped him out of the car, like I'd done earlier. He looked flushed, but I couldn't tell with the sun going down. He yawned. I didn't know if he'd napped today or just became genuinely tired and ready for sleep. My heart sank a little when I thought of his routine. He wakes up, he takes pills. He goes through a rigorous therapy of pounding the mucus thin. He takes more pills and he sleeps in the early afternoon. He probably, more obvious than probable, took more pills before sleeping. Then there were the things he still had to tell me.

I scratched the back of my head when we reached the front door to his home. "Should I say 'good night'?"

"I don't think so. Maybe. Good afternoon?"

"Sure. Good afternoon, Roxas." I set his tank down and started for my car.

"Axel," he called.

"Yeah?"

"You..."

I turned my head in anticipation. "Yes, Roxas?"

"Are you... dating anyone?"

"No."

"It's a shame. I think you'd make someone happy. As happy, or happier, than you make me." And he stepped inside.

* * *

**Like? Dislike? Pleeeeeeease tell me. I really wanna know. I'm going to go through my emails tomorrow (this) morning and reply to everyone who's reviewed in the past few days. Thank you for the follows, thank you for the reviews, thank you for the favorites. Thank you! Oh, and if you noticed, I reference Silver Linings Playbook a couple of times... Great book, great movie. Like Roxas points out, there are a few changes, but I love the ideas in place. Review and share, and be sure to check out my other stuff on my page. Bye! **


	8. Monday Madness

**My** **couple days of break became a couple weeks. -_- Sorry. But this'll be the last before I move. The only reason this is really late is because I'm getting ready for higher education... O.O**

* * *

Monday morning. Moooooonday morning. I didn't want to go to school. Didn't wanna do it. But he'd be there, maybe. Hopefully he wouldn't have to leave early. I thought of the night before. I could've just ran up and kissed him before he'd gone inside. I don't know how any of us would've reacted, but I didn't want to go over the possibilities.

"Mom, I've got practice tonight," I told her over the breakfast table, playing with my cereal. I really don't feel that it was necessary to remind her, though.

"Sounds good. Your father and I won't be home. He's got a meeting and I have to help your grandmother pack up the house. Your father's going to meet us."

"Where's she moving to?" My spoon hung from my mouth.

"Axel, you've noticed her. Your father, your aunt, and I discussed it yesterday. She's going to be moved into a community."

That was a bit of a slap to the face. Grandma was so lively, but she did seem to be... Losing it. She was the one who wanted to see me be the Munchkin. Her house was where Reno and I made HQ. It was a sad thought.

I stood and shouldered my bag. I fished my keys from my pocket and started for the door.

"Axel, there's going to be some money on your dresser. You can call for takeout." Mom smiled like usual. "Have a good day, Axel."

I was sitting at a stoplight on the way to school when an idea crossed my mind. It could be my turn. I could ask Roxas to come home with me. We'd work, we'd eat, maybe watch a movie.

"Hell yes!" I yelled and smacked the steering wheel, making the horn sound off. Drivers looked at me. "Shit." And I slowly proceeded with traffic.

I parked in the lot at the school and stepped out with a smile. Other than the news about my grandma, today was gonna be good. Inside, things were normal. People were standing in groups, walking in groups, and eating in groups. It's strange; I stand above all but three other people in the school.

"Hey, Axel," Riku called. He waved his hand at me from his locker. Namine was on his arm, same as Sora and Kairi, but Roxas didn't have anyone to hold.

"Hey." I was sheepish around Sora and the girls, still nervous with Roxas.

"So, I saw these two last night. Not just saw them, served them," Riku proclaimed. "A bowl of vanilla ice cream and a glass of water. Easiest time of my life."

I felt like my face went red, and turned to the wall behind me.

"What's wrong?" Roxas tugged on my shirt sleeve.

"Thought I saw Demyx," I lied.

"Okay... What are plans tonight?" Sora asked.

"Work." Riku.

"Babysitting." Namine.

"Home." Roxas.

"Same," I added.

"Do you two want to come to the movies with Kairi and I?" Sora asked.

"On a Monday night? I'll pass," I said.

Sora eyed his brother. Roxas shook his head. His little spikes shook on the top of his head.

"Ugh! You're all boring!" Kairi laughed.

The bell rang and the group split, but I followed Roxas to his locker. He smiled at me. "What's up?"

I had butterflies. I could literally feel them flapping against my stomach. I thought that if I opened my mouth, he'd get a face full of colored wings. "Uhm, I have a question, Roxas."

"Purple. Clouds. Three point one four one five nine?"

"Good one. Now, the real thing. I was wondering... If you would like to come work at my house tonight. My parents won't be home, though. And I've got practice. I could take you from there. They left money, so we could order something-"

"Axel, you're talking too much. I'd love to. I'll just have to call home. My mom would have to bring some pills when she gets Sora. But, you're lucky; it's a school night."

"But... You just told them that you didn't want to do anything, though."

"Axel, you really think I want to be a third wheel to my brother and his girlfriend?"

I felt jittery. Excited. Nervous. But all I could do is smile. "Great. Do you mind if I carry that for you?" I pointed to his tank, which he handed up to me.

"You are so helpful, Axel. No one's really this nice except for Sora."

Well no one else is feeling crazy and conflicted about their feelings for you.

"Just doing anything I can, Roxy."

"What?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't mean it." Stupid.

"No, no. I like it. I mean, it's surprising that nobody's called me that before. I like it."

Wow. "Okay. That's good."

* * *

I'd never been caught in school for texting, so I thought maybe I should tell Reno about my plans for the night.

ive got the greatest news

wut?

Roxas is coming to my house 2nite

gr8. u thinking of telling him how u feel?

not yet. havent gotten that far.

"Axel, what are you doing?" My teacher, Mr. Allwine, asked.

"Sorry, sir. I noticed my shoe was untied."

"Fix it and get back to work."

almost got caught.

get back to work, axel.

And he didn't reply after that.

* * *

**Helloo! I think it seems... Rushed? But it's your choice as readers. Whatcha think? I've got a couple of side notes. I've been thinking about a new fic. I think it'd be AkuRoku, only because I'm stuck, and it'd be like... A collection of one shots based on songs. If you, as readers, want a series you could ship... You need to watch Free! The Iwatobi Swim Club. It's so... Beautiful! Rambling, sorry. Review and share!**


	9. Mom, Movie, Magic

**Here we are! Well, sorry it took forever. I moved, participated in a weeklong conference, and started classes. I love my roommates and we have awesome times, I'll try to write more even if we are going crazy. My readers are awesome. :D**

* * *

He was with me after practice. He sat with Sora and watched Riku and I. He cheered for us even if it was practice. I felt my eyes linger whenever I looked at him.

"Axel!" Lexaeus screamed out at me. I felt my eyes snap away from Roxas and I quickly glanced at my coach. "What the hell are ya doing?"

"Sorry, coach," I answered. I knew he'd dismiss me or something just to make me pay attention.

"Axel, get your head into it. The rest of us," he gestured toward the team, "are counting on you."

We did another half hour of kicks, sprints, and push ups. I'm guessing the push ups were to irritate me because I hated them more than anything else Coach could throw at me.

"Axel!" Roxas cried out when the whistle had blown and we were released. He'd nearly jumped from his seat in the bleachers, leaving Sora baffled.

"Your mom said yes?" I asked, trying not to show too much emotion.

"Yeah. She'll be here soon for Sora. She'll want to ask you questions about driving before she lets me into your car again."

I'll do anything as long as I can see Roxas outside of school.

"What was going on down there?"

I looked away from his cherubic face. "I couldn't pay attention. I was thinking about our project." And probably trying how to figure out how to break the news to Roxas.

He asked me to walk to the parking lot with him and Sora. We leaned against my car in waiting. Their mom found us well enough.

"Okay, Roxas, I brought the pills you need for the night." She handed over one of those weekly pill containers with a note attached, probably telling what times he should take the required medicine. His mom then looked at me.

"Does Sora need to show you how to perform his therapy?"

My face went blank. "I've been shown, ma'am." It's rare when I call women ma'am; usually it's to my grandmother.

She directed her words to Roxas. "You're gonna be good?" She made it seem like he was five. "You're gonna call me before you go to bed?"

"I'm staying over?" Roxas and I traded looks.

"Well, it couldn't hurt. I packed you an outfit to sleep in and one for the morning. There's even a bar of soap and a bottle of shampoo for you to use."

"If he's staying, he could use what I already have," I spoke up.

"No food too unhealthy," she said to both of us.

I nodded.

"Okay. You better not let anything happen to him," his mother told me. She acted like I was his babysitter.

"I promise, ma'am." I swallowed a lump in my throat. She was intimidating, but I wasn't screwing around.

"Okay." She patted down Roxas's shoulders. "I guess I'm taking Sora home. Call me if you need anything."

I stepped closer. "He'll be fine."

Her gaze was piercing, but I'm sure she could tell I was serious.

"I'm sorry she's so protective," Roxas whispered before his mother was out of earshot. He leaned against the passenger door of my car. He shouldered his bag of clothes and sighed. He tweaked his cannula.

"Here." I opened the door for him and held the tank as he slid into the seat. He smiled up at me.

* * *

I'd opened every door for him. The car door, the front door, and even the door to the refrigerator; he was weirded out by that one. He sat on the couch and placed the tank next to his feet. He looked uncomfortable. It was only five.

"What do you want for dinner?" I grabbed some take out menus from under the table.

He flipped through them and finally held one up. "Chinese sounds good."

"Okay. So, we know what dinner is. What do you wanna do?"

"Aren't we working?"

I blushed with a smirk. "I'd rather hang out, Roxy."

"Axel. We need to work."

"But I wanna watch a movie."

He glared, but broke after a moment. "What do you have?"

He shuffled through the movies I had under the television. He finally picked out  
The Lorax. He had me call for food during the opening song. He sat a cushion away until Ted left Thneedville. Then he was next to me. My heart was beating in my ears; so fast and loud, I couldn't even hear the doorbell when the delivery man arrived. I snapped out of it in time to retrieve our food.

"Did you forget?" Roxas asked me as I handed him a container of noodles and a pair of chopsticks.

"Sorry." I plopped down next to him and dug into my food.

We were watching animals cry as their forest was cut down. Roxas moved closer. What the hell? Could someone really get this close during THE LORAX? My heart resumed its erratic beating. I accidentally brushed his hand. He was cold, but he looked at me.

"Axel..."

My heart jumped.

"Yeah?"

"This is weird." He sat up and looked over at the door.

"What is?"

"Axel, I don't know what this is."

"Roxas, what are you even talking about?"

"Axel, I'm dying, not stupid." That was cold. "I've noticed the way that you've been acting and you think you can just do it? Is this a way to make yourself look good?" He face was flushed.

"Roxas, I'm not doing this to benefit me. I'm doing this because I genuinely care about you. I don't even know that the hell I'm doing. I've never had feelings for another guy. I don't know how you're supposed to react, but I'm pretty sure that I want to date you or something like that. What do you want me to do? I want to know how you feel about this because I'm super fucked up about it."

I sat back and sank into the couch. The tension was thick. Thick as fucking frozen peanut butter. I didn't know how I should've told him any of what just spilled out of my damn mouth.

"Axel, I'm pretty sure that you're nuts. You're not fucked up, just nuts." He slid over slowly; it was like he was scared.

"Roxas, I don't know what I'm doing," I breathed. Time was slowing down in my mind. I don't... Know.

"Axel... What do we do now?"

"I don't know, Roxy." I cracked a smile and inched closer to his face. I couldn't believe what was happening.

"Axel, this is crazy." He smiled widely and leaned forward.

We were inches away. He'd be my first boyfriend EVER. I don't know about him. I was about to kiss this boy. My heart was pounding and my ears were ringing. I could only see him. I only felt his breath, sweet smelling and cool. I'm probably building up too much to this. He touched his forehead to mine. More building, bear with me. He finally anchored his head and his soft lips met mine. News flash! My first kiss with Roxas is probably the greatest one I've ever had.

* * *

**I didn't want the first big moment between the two to be like love at first sight. Axel needed to have a moment. I love how excited he got at the end, though. I did write most of this during a forced viewing of Wedding Crashers. -_- Review and share, pleeeeeeease. Don't forget to look at my other stuff. Thanks! ;D**


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